• Chemotherapy is one of the more common methods that is widely used to fight against cancer. Even though there are some side effects that are not very pleasant, it was also because of this medication that my mum managed to live for another 13 years and was able to see all of her children graduate. She even managed to see my brother’s first son. At the time she discovered that she had contracted cancer, I was only 13 years old.

• Once you have managed to get past the chemotherapy stage with optimum rest, there are and much better chance that you will recover

• Having faith plays an important role for people who are sick. It can be something that can divert their attention away from their sickness and get them back on their own feet again.

• It is extremely important for the patient to cooperate with their doctor because it is only through the prescriptions of the doctor and the trust of the patients with their doctors that they can increase the chances of recovery. My mum put 100% trust in the doctors who attended her and cooperated with them fully. I think that is also part of the reason why she managed to survive for so long.

• It is very important for someone undergoing cancer medication to be resting so that he or she can fully recover from the sickness. Your work will never be done so why don’t you leave it to another day when you are better.

• People suffering from a serious sickness are at the most vulnerable periods of their lives.  It is essential for them to be given emotional support from their family members and friends so that they can overcome their sickness and become healthy again.

She passed away just one year after I graduated from university, and I attribute this to the relationship between the power of the subconscious mind I had mentioned earlier in this book and her will to survive.  My mum had been telling herself and us that her wish was to see all of us graduate and start our adult lives so that she could leave in peace. She seemed to be able to overcome all the problems that were given to her before we graduated so that she could survive to see that accomplished.

Therefore I truly believe in the power of the mind to heal and cure. I hope that everyone will always think positively about events and possibilities in their lives.
THINK YOURSELF IN HARMONY
THINK YOURSELF IN PEACE
THINK YOURSELF IN ABUNDANCE
THINK YOURSELF IN PERFECT HEALTH
THINK YOURSELF IN WEALTH

And last but not least:
BRAVERY AND COURAGE LEADS TO HOPE!!!!

All the best to you and everyone around you!

Dedicated To My Mum
Kelvin

Continue to Important Principles

I remember my mother worrying about her serious constipation, despite taking some medicine that was supposed to aid in having bowel movements. She had not passed anything for almost a week and she found her stomach getting bloated. She called me to tell me that she was on the way to A & E in NUH with my sister. At that time, I was outside with my wife. We rushed to the hospital and waited with my mum and sister at the A&E for about an hour. The doctor did an examination and concluded that her constipation was due to some blockage and that it would be okay. We went back to thinking that things were okay and we did not think seriously about that problem.

It wasn’t until one or two weeks later that we found out that the problem of constipation had not subsided and that when my mum was again due for a monthly routine checkup she told her doctor about her problem. Her doctor decided to do an examination of the problem and eventually showed us some X-ray pictures taken around my mum’s stomach. There were white spots all over my mum’s liver, indicating that the cancer had spread to her liver.  My mum was again diagnosed with cancer—this time cancer of the liver.

This time around, the doctor prescribed another round of chemotherapy for her and the doctor told us that the chances of her surviving this time around were very slim. Despite the odds, my mum still went for the chemotherapy, but this time she seemed to get weaker every day until she could only eat or lie in bed. She lay in bed most of the day and it really saddened everyone in the family as her past cheerfulness that had brightened up the house had disappeared.

For a short moment, the house was not the same. There was no laughter or loud talking from my mum, though I still remember her sitting on the side of her bed talking on the phone with her friends whenever I come home.

Point To Note ———————————
Cherish every moment in your life, especially the time you have with your parents and family members. Those times, once gone, will never come back again.
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My aunt took leave with no pay from work for several months to take care of my mother and we are very grateful for her help. At that point in time, my mother started to hate eating food because she felt her stomach getting bloated. Although she didn’t eat, she always asked us to eat in front of her and you can feel the happiness in her when she saw her loved ones eating. This is true love that came from her heart for us. As she did not want to eat, she was given tube feeding so that we could feed her.   The sight of someone you love in such a state will definitely break your heart.
On and off, my mum would feel discomfort in her body or even have difficulty breathing and we had to send her to the hospital by ambulance to get her medical help. Every time she was admitted, I thought it was the end as she was getting continually weaker and weaker. When my mum first had difficulty breathing and requested to go to the hospital, she told my aunt to take good care of me. I still feel sad whenever I recall this sentence.

I remember my mum asking me why she had never seen me cry about her illness before as my brother and sister all cried in front of her. She thought that I was not sad, but it was because I did not want her to think that she was going to die soon. In the eyes of my mum, I was someone who talked loudly at home, who was the happy-go-lucky type. So I thought if I suddenly got so serious and cried in front of her, she would get worried. I still have regrets that in my relationship with my mum, I could not express how I truly felt about her. My family is not one of those that are good at expressing feelings for each other; we did not develop the habit of holding our parents’ hands or kissing our parents’ cheeks.  However, in the hospital there were times where I held my mother’s hands as if I was a kid again. That feeling sometime brings me back to those days when my mum took me to school and helped me carry my school bag. Despite the weakening of her body, my mum fought on bravely like a warrior in a battle. She never gave up and she believed she would recover again.  I recall her asking me whether she would recover and when I told her yes, she smiled at me.

The worst encounter for me was a time when my mother suddenly forgot who we were. She couldn’t even say our names. When this happened, she was again admitted to the hospital and she suddenly couldn’t remember who we were. I believe this broken every family member’s heart. That night, I went back home for a shower and brought some stuff to stay with my mother. Throughout the night, she kept asking me who I was. Although it may sound hilarious at certain times, when I think deeply about it, knowing that someone who was so close to me had forgotten who I was, no words could describe that kind of aching feeling.

As the doctor finally talked to us, telling us that her situation was hopeless and advising us to take my mother home, she was discharged again. When she got home, there was a sudden change in her. She began to eat and appeared to be very energetic. When she saw me, she asked me to sit with her and talk to her. I vividly remember that she was counting some 50 dollars notes, happily saying that she had money.

When my grandmother came over, she actually told my grandmother that my mum’s younger sister was to be pitied because she was wheel bound and couldn’t work. She asked my grandmother to pass some 50 dollar notes to her. This was the kind nature of my mother, even at such time as this in her own life. She was in a difficult state and she still thought of other people.

That was the best few days I spent with her during that time.  Then she suddenly got worse and fell into a coma. On and off, she would wake up and talk to us weakly, asking us whether we had our lunch or dinner already, but most of the time she was asleep. I was grateful for this and considered it a blessing that she could not feel any pain in her body in that state. I had heard of people shouting because of pain, but it never occurred with my mum. She was never in that serious amount of pain, and I believe it was a blessing for her kindness.

One day when I was alone with my mother in the hospital ward, she woke up and saw a very big and nice basket on the bad opposite of her and she told me that she liked the basket. I dashed to the florist at the lobby to buy one, but what was available there were only smaller baskets. I went ahead and bought one for her. Initially, she was happy with it, but she said she liked the other one more.  She turned to me and asked me “Am I very troublesome?” The next day I bought another arrangement with a bigger basket, but she did not really get a chance to see it as she was sleeping more and more. A few days later, we received a call from the hospital saying that her blood pressure was low and she might not make it through the night. We rushed down to the hospital to stay throughout the night and she pulled through.

I remember going to the restroom and getting a phone call saying that my mum had opened her eyes and that she would pass away really soon. I ran to the bed, and the moment she saw me when I opened the curtain, she took a deep breath and passed away. I knew she was waiting to see me one last time before going away for good.  Overall, she passed away very peacefully without as much pain as we had thought might occur.

A last dedication for my mum: “I love you and you will always be in my heart. Take care MUM.”

Continue to Conclusion

I recall my mom telling me that during one of her routine checkups the doctor had asked her whether she was taking any medicine outside of the infusion every month in the hospital. The doctor was curious as to why my mum managed to pull through the bone cancer without any suffering.  Then the doctor decided to take a sample of my mum’s blood to check for any reasons why she seemed to be unaffected by the bone cancer.

As my mum was a regular “member” of the cancer department, she became good friends with some nurses and other more so-called “members.”  She started to invite some of her friends to our house and would go out with them so that they would not be constantly thinking about their sickness and brooding over it. This proved to be effective as some of her friends started to be more cheerful as days went on.  I still remember my mum having some friends who called her “Kai Xin Guo,” which means someone who is very cheerful.

I think that the biggest key to recovery is having the right attitude. If you are always thinking of the negative side of things, you will find that you are going to get the negative most of the time.  But if you are in the right mindset, you will be able to over come anything you are faced with. I think that my mum is the best example of this theory because she never appeared to me as a person with an illness.  She was always in a happy mood and, therefore, she managed to survive so many attacks of her illness and live a few years longer than what doctors predicted.

When I think about her calling her friends and asking them out, it makes me realize again that she is such an amazing person. I have a packed schedule, with many things to do everyday and I sometimes find it very hard to spare some time to call my friends and talk with them, let alone ask them out.  Although my mum was not a busy person, she was a terminally ill person who might die at anytime.  But she was always thinking about other people and spending time talking to them and going out with them.  I think that this is something that we can all learn from, because most people think only about themselves nowadays and often neglect the feelings of the people around them.

As years went by after being diagnosed with bone cancer, my mum started to feel periodic pain in her back which was mainly due to the cancer.  The effectiveness of the medical infusions started to reduce as time went by.  The medicine was not enough to sustain her for a month and she often felt the pain somewhere around the third week after the infusion and even that seemed to be shortening.  There were times when my mum had to be hospitalized because of the pain.

Continue to Chapter 6

I remember her telling me that she had a friend who was suffering from brain cancer. When my mum first get to know her, she had just been diagnosed with cancer and she had three small kids. During her treatment, she was not resting and was busy taking her children to school and doing various other tasks. I remember my mum telling her over the phone that she should be resting so that she can recover. But as her husband had to work and they did not want to hire a maid, she had no choice but to resume her daily tasks.

However, after a few months, my mum was told by her husband that she was hospitalized and that her days were numbered.  When my mum reached the hospital, she was told by her husband that her friends already didn’t recognized her because the cancer cells has disabled part of her brain and she was having gruesome pain everyday. When my mum approached her friend, she was stunned that her friend could actually call her by name and was very happy to see her.  They spent one or two hours talking, but that would be their last chit-chat session.  My mum received a phone call the next day from her friend’s husband saying that his wife had passed away during the night.

Point To Note ———————————
It is very important for someone undergoing cancer medication to be resting so that he or she can fully recover from the sickness. Your work will never be done so why don’t you leave it to another day when you are better.
———————————————–

This is not the only story I heard from my mum about her friends who had passed away due to the disease. No doubt there were some who suffered from extreme pain before they passed away; there were also some who passed away peacefully without any suffering.

I am not here to spread any religion, but from what I have observed and heard from my mum, most of her friends who passed away peacefully are people who were pretty religious and had great faith in their religion. These people did not all fall into the same religion and, in fact, belonged to many different religions. But I think that they did not suffer as much physically because they were focused on other areas instead of just thinking about their illness everyday.

I do not know if you have heard the phrase “What you focus on expands.”  That could be why those people who often brooded over their sickness felt the most pain when compared to people who were focused on other things.  If you are currently having any problem, you can try to think of the positive side of it and not focus on the negative side of it as it will always tend to expand the negative part of your thinking.

Continue to Chapter 5

In fact, we were told by the doctor that she might not survive this one. We thought that she was going to have another round of chemotherapy, but we were told that she would only be given medicine which would strengthen her bones.  We started to prepare for the worst.  I noticed that my mum was very calm and willing to cooperate with the doctor with any medication she was given. In fact, I did not even notice any change in her after she found out about her new enemy: Bone Cancer.  She was her usual self, calling her friends and talking to them and things went on as normal.

Point To Note ———————————
It is extremely important for the patient to cooperate with their doctor because it is only through the prescriptions of the doctor and the trust of the patients with their doctors that they can increase the chances of recovery. My mum put 100% trust in the doctors who attended her and cooperated with them fully. I think that is also part of the reason why she managed to survive for so long.
———————————————–

She was given a monthly infusion of the medicine when she came to her routine checkups.  However, my mum did not show any sign of sickness in her and she was her usual self, talking to other patients, motivating new patients. letting them know that they could definitely make it, using herself as an example.
However, they were times when she would be hospitalized for one or two days for some checkups. I remember that my mum’s bed was always empty when I went to visit and I would have to scan the whole ward to find her. She would always be at some patient’s bed, talking to them and asking them about their condition. After that, she would give them her number and take down their number, like a friendster.com in physical form.

When I found her, I would always ask her whether she was recruiting new members for her so-called “cancer club.”  One thing that amazed me about my mum was that she would always call those people one by one when she got back home to ask them about their condition and sometimes even meet with them outside for coffee talks.  She had totally put her cancer behind her and always seemed to do her best to help one more person before she was gone.  As my mum was always sent to the same ward whenever she was hospitalized, she became a familiar face among the nurses.  I personally called her the Ambassador of the Ward.

Point To Note ———————————
People suffering from a serious sickness are at the most vulnerable periods of their lives.  It is essential for them to be given emotional support from their family members and friends so that they can overcome their sickness and become healthy again.
———————————————–

Coming back to the subconscious power I referred to in the previous chapter, I think one of the reasons why my mum’s sickness was under control was because her subconscious mind was always thinking of living to see us grow up and graduate from university.  With this in her mind, she seemed to be able to pull through any problems that were thrown to her.

Continue to Chapter 4

Because of her illness, my mum was scheduled to go back for regular checkups every month to ensure early detection of any cancer activity. I remember her telling me that it was not possible to cure cancer—that we could only try to contain it for as long as possible.  Her wish was to live long enough to see all of us graduate and start our own families.

I guessed that the my mum’s attitude had also played a vital role on her road to recovery. She was always very cheerful after the chemotherapy and the best part was she never treated herself as a cancer patient. She went back to her old self, as if nothing had happened to her.

However, I did notice one change in her; she started to make new friends every month who were also cancer patients. She called them to talk to them and encourage them to be strong. I guess this was also one of the invisible forces that kept her going strong, because it seemed to her that she had a mission to accomplish. Due to her own experience of suffering during her period of her chemotherapy, she knew others might also be suffering too.

Point To Note ——————————————————————
Having faith plays an important role for people who are sick. It can be something that can divert their attention away from their sickness and get them back on their own feet again.
————————————————————————————

After the chemotherapy, my mum never complained of any pain or problems related to her cancer. It seemed to me that she had completely recovered from the disease.  She went to work as my dad’s stall assistant because my dad had decided to start his own food business. He started by learning the skills from his 3rd uncle, who had a popular vegetarian stall in Jurong. After that, he rented a stall somewhere in Holland hdb estate, and my mum was there to help out.

She still continued to go to her monthly routine checkups and started to meet more and more patients as well as the nurses who worked there. According to the old folks, it is not advisable for cancer patients to eat food such as crabs, prawns, and oysters which are considered toxic to the body, and my mum was very cautious about the food she ate.

As my dad’s first food business venture was not profitable, he closed down the stall and went to try at another location at Clementi central; my mum continued to help out and my sister and I would go there after school. The second venture also turned out to be unprofitable, so my dad closed down the second stall and, with a friend’s recommendation, went to work in a book wrapping company. My parents would both go out early in the morning and then come back sometime around six or seven in the evening. Despite the hard work, I never heard any complaints from my mum that she was tired. Although it was tough, my parents brought back a good income to the family and life started to get better. Looking back now, I really miss those days when we go out to eat as a family and my mum would buy me stuff like a walkman when she got paid.

Point To Note ———————————
You should always cherish the person beside you as well as all your family members as those good days will definitely be gone one day.  Then all you will be left with are some photos and videos to watch and your memories of the good times you shared.
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Continue to Chapter 3

During the year prior to this, my mum had been quietly hiding something from us. She had pus flowing out from one of her breasts that was causing her pain and discomfort, but she never told anyone about it, including my dad.  She finally decided to go to a doctor when the amount of pus became so shocking that she was unable to handle it. When she finally decided to go to the doctor, the situation had become very bad.

Point To Note ——————————————————————
One of the main reasons people died of cancer is because of late detection. My mum is a very typical example of that; she kept silent about her condition until a point where it was impossible to hide it, then she turned to the doctor. It is important to understand that early detection of cancer can save lives.
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My dad took her to NUH for a checkup.  After being checked by the doctor, it was recommended that they do an operation on her breast to remove the lump so that it could be checked to see whether or not it was cancerous. Having a breast removed can be one of the most demoralizing things that can happen to a woman, but my mum decided to go ahead with it because she wanted to see us grow up. During the time she was in the hospital, we were very worried about her health condition. However, the bad news came after the doctor had removed a tumor in her breast and then confirmed it to be the last stages of cancer.

Because of the cancer’s progression, the doctor was not optimistic about my mum’s recovery. Most last stage patients are not able to live long as the cancer cells are already too active. However my mum was asked to do chemotherapy to try to kill the cancer cells in her body. The doctor then told us the side effects of the chemotherapy. As the medicine did not have the ability to distinguish between good and bad cells, it would kill all the cells at the same time, making the patient feel weak and nauseous and causing hair loss dryness of mouth.

Point To Note ——————————————————————
Chemotherapy is one of the more common methods that is widely used to fight against cancer. Even though there are some side effects that are not very pleasant, it was also because of this medication that my mum managed to live for another 13 years and was able to see all of her children graduate. She even managed to see my brother’s first son. At the time she discovered that she had contracted cancer, I was only 13 years old.
————————————————————————————
As my family was not very well off and we had practically no savings, we relied entirely on my dad’s Medisave to pay for my mum’s medical bills and chemotherapy.

Before my mum started her chemotherapy treatments, she went to buy a wig as she was preparing herself for losing her hair. Soon after my mum got her first poke with the needle, she started to become weak and was easily agitated by every little thing. She would scream at us for minor things, and my sister and I were not used to this initially because she had been a very cheerful person who seldom got frustrated.

Although she was feeling frustrated frequently, there were also times when she would be more at peace. During these times she told me the reasons for her mood swings. I learned from her that the chemotherapy has made her feel very hot internally, which led her to feel frustrated and she had no idea how to deal with it. Therefore, she vented it out on the people around her. Beside the serious mood swings, there was also another side effect of the chemotherapy.

A week or so after the first chemotherapy treatment, I remember my mum shouting for my dad to come one day while she was taking a shower. In fact, I got the feeling that she may have been shocked to see her severe hair loss. True enough, she was crying because she found out that she was having serious hair loss while she was washing her hair. According to her description later, she told me that she actually had her hands full of hair when she tried to scratch her scalp during shampooing, which was an unusual amount of hair loss, and that is why she had shouted for my dad.

After my dad went into the bathroom, he helped her to wash her hair and then take off those hairs that had fallen out. As a 13-year-old child at that moment, I was waiting anxiously in the living room for my dad and mum to come out along with my younger sister. I still remember the shock and fear in me when I first saw my mum walked out of the restroom. She was almost bald! I was scared stiff because I was not yet used to seeing my mum without hair. However, my mum quickly got over it and started to joke with us about her bald head. That was when I saw how strong my mother was in terms of character.

Month after month, she went for her chemotherapy treatments and I actually found her getting livelier and also putting on weight. That period of chemotherapy is the most important part for recovery any cancer patient. I remember her telling her other friends who were cancer patients that she had met during her routine checkups and chemotherapy that they should refrain from exhausting themselves and should get a lot of rest and drink a lot of water.  I remember my mum telling me that the medication made their bodies feel very warm and therefore they must take in stuff like a bird’s nest that could cool their body and drink a lot of water.

Point To Note ——————————————————————
Once you have managed to get past the chemotherapy stage with optimum rest, there are much better chances that you will recover.

————————————————————————————–

I remember reading a book called “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr Murphy. This book focuses on teaching readers how to make use of their subconscious minds to help heal their sickness, create happy relationships with people around them, create wealth, and many more important aspects in life. I found it a very wonderful book and I actually managed to relate its ideas to my mother. I will talk more about this in the following chapter.

Continue to Chapter 2

In my own life, I have witnessed my mother’s struggle with 4th stage Breast Cancer from the time she was diagnosed until she gracefully rose to heaven. She lived an extraordinary life in an ordinary environment.

From her example, I have learned the power of a few principles that she used to fight her illness that successful people also use to start a thriving business, live a healthy life, and function in a happy family.

Although my mother passed away in 2005, she had miraculously fought the disease that aimed to conquer her within months for 13 years. I think it is necessary to share her story with people who may be facing similar problems.

Throughout this book, I am going to share with you the principles that my mum used to fight against a dreadful disease — CANCER.

This book is not meant to glorify my mother or tell people how great she is. I don’t think she ever thought of herself as a great person. The reason I write this book is to help my mum continue doing what she wanted to do when she was alive – encourage other patients who are sick like she was to overcome their illness and live their life as fully as they can.

I hope you enjoy this book and find it inspiring!

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